Motivation – Where Does It Come From?

Motivation is a really big discussion point for me.  I present so often around goals, visions and confidence – yet rarely about motivation itself.  Yet it impacts on not only these 3 things but also on almost everything we do in life, from getting up in the morning to climbing mountains.

Motivation! Were we born with it?  I imagine there’s a whole psychological debate on that one.  I believe we were, what else made us try to crawl, walk and talk.  Everything we do has a driver behind it and that driver is motivation.

But if it comes so naturally to us, why do we lose motivation?  I don’t believe we ever lose motivation, I believe we just lose the driver for it.  Imagine wanting to lose weight.  We go on a diet.  Somewhere along the way we lose sight of the end goal.  The reason we wanted to lose weight whether that was to look good or feel healthier.  The motivation was still there but without the need, the desire to continue, motivation doesn’t have a need to kick in.

So next time you feel your motivation is beginning to flag, or you begin to lose sight of why you’re striving for something, take a small step away from the situation and revisit your goals.  It works every time.

Lost motivation can really get in the way of what you want to achieve, so if you feel your motivation is preventing you from getting where YOU want to be, give Carolyn a call today on 07714 216388 for your free consultation to see what coaching could help you achieve.

 

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words and pictures copyright Reflections Coaching (2014)

 

Personal Development – what does it really mean to you?

I take quite a simple definition, its about anything that you want to change in your work, home or personal life.

 It can be about:

 How you react in different situations

  • Controlling your stress levels
  • Your work/life balance
  • Achieving your dreams
  • Work aspirations
  • Dealing with other people
  • How you perform a task

I could go on, although I expect you have the general idea.

 Self development can take as little as 10 minutes a day.  In reality, we forget in our busy lives to set aside this time for ourselves.  We place a low priority on what we do for ourselves compared to helping and supporting other people.

 So if you’re to make just one small change this week, allow yourself just ten minutes a day to think about what you’d like to change in your life and how you’re going to do it.

If you’re not sure where to start with your own personal development, ring Carolyn today on 07714 216388 to book your free consultation.

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words and pictures copyright Reflections Coaching (2014)

How I Deal With Negative Emotions

I’ve had a week off and come back to a pile of emails etc, its part of the course being self employed.  Yet one email has caused me frustration and anger – both are negative emotions and both well within my own sphere of control.

So what do you do when frustration hits?

It takes an incredible amount of energy to stay angry.  Energy that I know I would be much better off putting to other things, things that could result in a positive outcome.

I’ve tried to answer the following questions.

  • What do I gain from being angry?
  • What can I do to improve the current situation?
  • What would I gain if I put my energy into doing something else?

When I have the answers to these questions, it become clear where best to direct my energy.

Negative emotions can take up a huge amount of energy, give Carolyn a call today on 07714 216388 for your free consultation to see what coaching could help you achieve instead.

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words and images copyright Reflections Coaching (2014)

 

 

 

 

Writers Block – A Thing Of The Past?

Last week I told you about my new challenge which has involved my joining an online writing challenge group.

Its yet again one of those things that I’ve chosen to do that suddenly becomes the catalyst for a number of events.

It’s sparked conversations about writing and publishing.

I’ve completed a number of tasks.

I’ve learned about speed writing and how useful this can be for kick starting those thought processes to overcome writers block.

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The most important thing I’ve learned in this short week, is that starting out with a goal and allocating a small amount of time every day to progress it can work wonders.

What one thing to do you really want to achieve?   How much time each day would it take to make a difference to your goal?

I would love to hear your thoughts on this, and so would my readers, please take the time to let us know what you’re working towards by adding a comment to this page.

 

 

Words and picture copyright Reflections Coaching (2014)

How Do I stretch Myself?

Its an odd question isn’t it?  My job is to support individuals with their personal development.  Personal development is all about stretching yourself, but what exactly is a stretch?

Well a stretch is anything that you wouldn’t normally do.  If you are a regular reader, you’ll have read in November last year I took a huge comfort zone stretch into performing stand up comedy.  This has helped me immensely when I stand and present any talk or speech to a group audience.  Stretches can also be about skills and tasks.

I’ve taken on a challenge for the next month to take part in a 30 day writing romp.  I stumbled across it on Facebook.  I write regularly for this blog, yet rarely give any time to improve my skills.  My core drivers for the blog are to:

  • write from the heart
  • Share my knowledge and experiences for others self development

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So I have pledged that I will dedicate 20 minutes a day to working towards creating my first ebook and improving my writing skills.

Pledging as part of a group on Facebook has made me accountable to others for my goal, for me this is critical to support my personal motivation.

What skill set would you like to improve?

Part of my role as a personal development coach is to support individuals in theiir own self development.  If you need support in this area, then please  give me a call today on 07714 216388 to book your free consultation.

 

 

words & images copyright Reflections Coaching (2014)

Do You Take Painkillers For Toothache or Do You Visit The Dentist?

None of us like toothache, but a visit to the dentist will result in a filling or worse still.  The truth is, no matter what we do, the problem tooth isn’t going to mend itself.

So much of what we do today in our personal lives and in business is about glossing over a problem, fixing the symptom and not the cause.

Many of my clients approach me because they are struggling to lose weight, yet it is only when we start to scratch beneath the surface that the reality of the problem becomes apparent.

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Reaching for food can fill a gap, caused by a plethora of realities.  Do we eat because we’ve had a bad day, what caused the bad day?  Have we reached for that snack because we’ve taken something that someone has said badly?

So before you reach for that bar of chocolate or hunk of cheese, ask yourself do you really want or need it?  And if the answer is no, then what is causing the stress that you’re trying to ignore.

I am frequently approached by people who turn to food rather than tackle the underlying problem.  If you see yourself doing this then  give me a call today on 07714 216388 to how we can tackle the cause together

 

 

 

What Can Nature Teach Us About Personal Survival?

Its March already.  We’re almost in Spring.  So yesterday I was very surprised to spot a rather frozen looking daisy in flower in the field as I went out for my morning dog walk.

My immediate reaction was surprise and then concern that the seasons are out of kilter.  How would this one poor little daisy survive especially if the weather changed again.

DSC_2015-1photo copyright of

Brett Trafford Photography

Yet nature has a way of looking after itself.  What strength and tenacity did this one small flower have to stand up and be counted before its peers.  Maybe it won’t survive, it has already overcome the odds to push through ground that has been changing between frozen and swamp like.  Perhaps this flower has a better chance because its ahead of the game.

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.

Theodore Roosevelt

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/theodorero103482.html#2YKAf1hwuW5jzUwp.99

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.

Theodore Roosevelt

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/quotes/t/theodorero103482.html#2YKAf1hwuW5jzUwp.99

“It is hard to fail, but it is worse than to never have tried to succeed”

- Theodore Roosevelt.

There will always be reasons not to to something, but if we look long and hard at ourselves are they really reasons not to try?

I am frequently approached by people who are scared to start a project because they are scared that they will not succeed.  If you want to increase your chances of success then give me a call today on 07714 216388 to see how I can help you get the success you deserve.

 

Lets Take Some Time Out

I’ve just had a lovely slightly longer than average weekend.  A really good friend came to stay, a friend who I probably see 3 or 4 times a year.

I’m sharing this with you because, having my friend in the house meant that both myself and my hubby who also runs his own business, switched off our computers, and put down our tablets for 3 whole days.  I don’t know when this last happened other than over Christmas.  Even when we go on holiday we take a tablet each and seek out the wifi.  Its almost as though facebook would fail without us, let alone our businesses.

I don’t know if it’s the fear that if we don’t get back to someone straight away that a business lead will simply go cold, or our absence from social media means that we lose our presence. Either way those thoughts are unfounded.

The weekend is now over and there are no lost clients, just a bigger than average inbox to go through.  We have however had a lovely relaxed weekend that simply wouldn’t have been achieved had our guest not have stayed.  I even managed to try my hand at making crumpets, something I’ve been meaning to do for a while.

So the moral of this story?  Just once in a while, either with friends or on your own – switch off your social media – its one sure fire way of getting some balance back in your life.

If from time to time you find balancing home and work difficult, using a coach to help you make personal boundaries can make a huge difference. Give Carolyn a call on 07714 216388 today to make an appointment for your first free consultation – what do you have to lose?

 

Why Use A Coach or How Would You Tackle A Brick Wall?

As a coach, I’m often asked why, if my client always has the answer, do they need a coach?  This is where I always use my favourite metaphor:

When a client gets stuck around their particular challenge, and it doesn’t matter if they want to lose weight, gain confidence or change jobs, they get stuck for the same reason.  They encounter a blockage.  That blockage stems from their fight or flight response, their brain won’t allow them to think deeper and solve the issue because the answer may scare them.

A coach, will continue to question beyond the point where a client will naturally stop when challenging themselves.  A coach won’t accept “because I can’t” or “I don’t know” as an answer?

Let me explain:

You’re traveling on your normal daily journey to work.  Someone builds a brick wall across your route.  You have 2 choices, stop or turn back neither choice will get you to where you want to go.  Giving up can be the easiest option.

If I were then to say to you, “what else could you do?” you naturally think a little harder, a little deeper and that can be enough to allow yourself to think of other options, getting a ladder or a sledge hammer.  2 solutions that we didn’t have before.

If you’d like to know more about how coaching could help you resolve your personal challenges, drop Carolyn an email today on caro@reflectionscoaching.co.uk.

 

 

Do I Love Me Enough?

Its valentines day – everywhere is full of hearts and flowers and couples who are all loved up.  And its lovely because it makes us think about what really matters in our life.  Things tend to be a little different in the Trafford household as its Hubby’s birthday so I have to work extra hard to spoil him.  On the whole I think we get the balance right.

And its balance that I wanted to talk about today.  Its important when we talk about who we love to remember that we should love ‘me’ too. 

How often do you take time out to really appreciate the things that you do for yourself or even make time for yourself. 

So when you’ve finished with valentines day and the flowers have faded, set a date for “Love Me Day” and do something special  – just for you – to appreciate you, what a wonderful person you are and to thank you for simply being you.

You’re worth it.

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If you struggle to appreciate you and who you are, it could be that your self esteem is feeling a little low.  Give Caro a call on 07714 216388 today to book your free consultation to see what you could do to feel “worth it” again.

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