Why Use A Coach or How Would You Tackle A Brick Wall?

As a coach, I’m often asked why, if my client always has the answer, do they need a coach?  This is where I always use my favourite metaphor:

When a client gets stuck around their particular challenge, and it doesn’t matter if they want to lose weight, gain confidence or change jobs, they get stuck for the same reason.  They encounter a blockage.  That blockage stems from their fight or flight response, their brain won’t allow them to think deeper and solve the issue because the answer may scare them.

A coach, will continue to question beyond the point where a client will naturally stop when challenging themselves.  A coach won’t accept “because I can’t” or “I don’t know” as an answer?

Let me explain:

You’re traveling on your normal daily journey to work.  Someone builds a brick wall across your route.  You have 2 choices, stop or turn back neither choice will get you to where you want to go.  Giving up can be the easiest option.

If I were then to say to you, “what else could you do?” you naturally think a little harder, a little deeper and that can be enough to allow yourself to think of other options, getting a ladder or a sledge hammer.  2 solutions that we didn’t have before.

If you’d like to know more about how coaching could help you resolve your personal challenges, drop Carolyn an email today on caro@reflectionscoaching.co.uk.




Tackling Your Brick Wall

I’ve been working closely with a client around her weight issues and she asked me recently why, when it is her that comes up with all the answers in our sessions, can she only do this in front of me, and not on her own.  Did I have magic special powers?

I’d like to think that I do! However not many of you would believe me.

I think of it in terms of brick walls.

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Looks pretty insurmountable doesn’t it?

Brick walls are those things that stand in between you and your goal.  Imagine for a moment that you are setting out on a journey, from home to work for example.  You really have to go to work today.  You know the route.  But half way there someone has built a brick wall and its blocking your route. It stops you dead in your tracks.  And this is what happens in life.  Its exactly the same as starting a new weight loss campaign where you’ve decided on a diet and exercise plan and then going a breaking a toe so you can’t get to the gym.  All of a sudden your plans come to a complete halt.

So what do you do?  Give up?  Turn around and go back home? (a tempting alternative to work I imagine) and the obvious and first answer. And when we’re working through a problem on our own we often take the first answer that comes to mind and accept it.  Where coaching makes the difference is that a coach will always challenge further.

There are always options. Some of the suggestions I’ve had include:

  • Find a way around the wall.
  • Pole vault
  • Find a ladder

I’m sure you could think of more and of course what works for one doesn’t always work for another.  Personally I’d rule the ladder out – having a bit of a fear of heights and would get out a map and compass to navigate my way around it.

So, you can’t get to the gym because of that broken toe? Sit down and have a good think about what you could do instead. And if like my client the answers don’t come to you, ask a friend for some ideas.  They might not all work for you, but one idea might.

I’d love to hear your thoughts about what your real brick walls have been in life, and how you’ve overcome them, and if you haven’t perhaps other readers may have a solution for you.

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