Are You Stuck In A Rut?

Its very easy to become stuck in a rut, especially at work, what can you do about it?


Fortunately there are some easy quick win solutions to get you started on your climb out of the rut.

  • Ask yourself if there’s something missing? – it could be that you’ve been in the job too long, unchallenged and bored.  Write yourself a dream job checklist.  What do you need from your job?  Include earnings, hours, responsibility, commute.  This way you can start to make small changes to move towards your dream role.
  • Put some of the fun back – once we’ve hit that rock bottom boredom threshold it becomes quite tricky to change our thought processes.  So just do something different.  Why not organise a lunchtime or evening event such as a quiz or sports event, make some new friends and have a bit of fun too.
  • Network – Networking is vital and not just to those in business.  It is connecting with new people that could halp you with careers moves at a later stage or get you involved in projects.
  • Do something new – start something in your own time, do a part time college course or even start a part time business.  It could bring in a second income or even replace your first.  Do consider carefully though what it is you want to do and consider those items on your dream job checklist. Or you could ask for more responsibility at work.
  • Rewards – we all need to be rewarded for our efforts and this is often lacking at work.  So why not motivate yourself, I have chocolate treats when I know I’ve finished a project, you know what works for you.

And remember:

“If you always do, what you always did,

you’ll always get, what you always got” – unknown

So don’t be afraid to change something.





What were you born to do?

When was the last time you asked yourself what you were born to do?

Its that time of the week when I sit down and write my blog post, sometimes the inspiration flows and others I just get stuck.  This week, is damp outside, the light is starting to go and I’ve a stack of emails having taken a week off.  Inspiration was alluding me and I fell into the procrastination trap.

I write a lot about how we should avoid procrastination and I hope I don’t have to eat my words but rather than open up my blog to write I procrastinated – checked my emails and there it was – inspiration -via a weekly LinkedIn email and someone had posted a forum “What were you born to do”

I confess, I haven’t read the forum – the words were enough.  Its my favourite topic.  Its why I coach.  My job is about helping square pegs find square holes not force them into round ones as so many employers choose to do.

In short, I coach people who really aren’t happy in work, to help them to resolve their situation.  It isn’t necessarily about finding them a new job, sometimes its about making the round hole that they’re trying to fit into a bit more square.

And its a very good question.  I believe I was born to help people so, what were you born to do and what are you doing about it?

Reflections Coaching supports people in their roles with stress, work/life balance, career change, new business start ups so if you feel like a square peg in a round hole, please get in touch for a no obligation chat to see how we can help get in better fit in your working life.




Change and Negativity


In the previous post I introduced the Reflections Coaching Change Curve ©2011.  After the initial shock of finding out about the change that is affecting us, there are several stages that we go through where it is natural to feel some negativity, either within ourselves or towards others.


After experiencing the initial shock of the change, most of us will feel a sense of denial. Its those thoughts of “this isn’t really happening to me” or the belief that if we pretend that the change isn’t happening it really won’t affect us.  There might also be feelings that the change won’t work and therefore there is no point in accepting the change.  Reaching the acceptance stage can be really difficult when these negative vibes are buzzing around our heads.


During this Frustration Stage we look for someone to blame.  That might be ourseves, it might be someone else.  Our thoughts will be along the lines of “If only I hadn’t…….” , “Why did she have to suggest that……..”.  There may also be a belief that the change won’t work and we fall into the trap of looking for all the things that might go wrong rather on focussing on those that will go right.


After frustration, confusion kicks in.  Its common to spend time wondering what’s happening next and how its all going to work.  You may start to seriously question why things are being done and why they’re being done a certain way.

Frustration (was: threesixtyfive | day 244)


You may find that after the initial shock a lot of time is spent going between the stages of denial, frustration and confusion and your journey might not be a linear one, until at some point you accept the change.

Change – How we deal with it

Change can be uncomfortable for all of us. It’s perfectly normal to experience a variety of feelings even if you’re the one driving the change, or supporting the change.

The change curve is a model that many people identify with, some if not all of the stages. Even those committed to change, as a steady state, sometimes feel momentary DENIAL.

There are lots of variations of the Change Curve, the most notable is the Kubler Ross Curve that is specifically used for grief.  Here is a version that can be used for a wider number of applications:

The Coaching Change Curve ©2011 Reflections Coaching:



The first stage of the Reflections Coaching Change Curve is Shock.  This is likely to occur the first time you find out about the change.  Have you ever heard that voice in your head saying “I can’t believe it” or “this really isn’t happening to me”.  Yet there you are.  Right in the middle of it all and you’re facing change.

This shock can be as simple as the culture shock we sometimes feel when going on holiday.  Just simply slowing down our bodies and relaxing away from the pressures of day to day living makes us feel out of kilter.

From a personal point of view I recall vividly standing in a room full of my colleagues and being told that my job and my two team colleagues were being transferred 50 miles away.  At the time it felt as though my world was ending.  Here was the career I’d been in for 22 years and I was suddenly going to have to travel for 3 hours a day or have no job!  I was filled with horror and uncertainty and I felt as though my freedom was being taken away.

Change – Is it just a big scary word?

This blog post is the first in a short series about change.  I’ve chosen change because no matter who we are or what we do, change will affect us all and affect us all differently because we are all unique in the way we deal with change.

For me, things started changing last year when I invested heavily in my own personal development.  Since then its not stopped and I am now facing the biggest change in my life since I got married over 15 years ago.


“CHANGE verb ( BECOME DIFFERENT ) : to make or become different, or to exchange one thing for another thing, especially of a similar type”


Image by busy.pochi via Flickr


Change is a concept that many of us struggle to deal with, or we find it difficult to adapt to new situations, sometimes we need a little help along the way.  Struggling to deal with change can be counter-productive and hold us back in both our personal or working lives.  Change can be large, resulting from a change in personal circumstances e.g. loss of a family member, change in job, marriage, or small e.g. a new filing system at work.  No matter how large or small the change, its rarely trivial and can result in emotions such as fear or blame.

In many cases change is out of our control and if we can manage our feelings around change, then we more quickly adapt and become productive again.

In this blog, we will explore what Change means to us and how we can learn to deal with it differently.

Why do we need to change?

Sometimes we want to change.  Perhaps there is something that you don’t like about yourself and are seeking an opportunity to do something about it.  You might actually like who and what you are but are seeking continuous improvement and in doing so see a need to change.

Sometimes we resist change; perhaps change is being forced on you at work.  In recent times employers are dictating that change is essential for their businesses to operate.  As an employee it can be difficult to keep up.

It could be that someone you are connected to is seeking change, forcing a change directly on you.  Major life events such as marriage or loss of a loved one envokes change.

It’s how we deal with that change that matters.

To keep ahead it’s critical that we continue to develop as a person and change. Change, however can bring many emotions, it can be exciting or terrifying, fun or confusing.

I am currently facing redundancy from my full time job role.  I find that scary and exciting at the same time.




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